What we do for love. . .

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet.  She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.” ~Dame Edna Everage

As I sat on the train the woman sitting next to me began to mumble to herself. I looked around, wondering if anyone else found this odd and realized, like Charley, no one wanted to act as if they noticed. She kept up her mumbling and then took a sudden interest in my reading: articles on Osteoarthritis. She starts asking me about it and, not wanting to be rude, I answer her back. This seemed to encourage her and I found myself with an unlikely traveling companion who quickly realized I could speak Mandarin on a semi-fluent level.

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”  ~Ambrose Bierce

She told me about how she had been happy down south when a man promised her a Greencard if she’d move up this way. She, thinking this ment marriage, gladly quit her job and soon found herself working for about $300 a week hoping her next job would provide free housing so she could at least save up a bit of money. This man who promised her a bright future was her boyfriend and refused to marry her and instead suggested she find a job that would support her in her effort for a greencard.

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate — that’s my philosophy.”  Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth (1942)

So where she had once been happy and semi-successful here she was now close to broke and worried about being deported. I wonder what I would give up for the promise of love and security. It seems to me like I have already found that in God but then again, sometimes it is SO HARD to be assured of Him and His role in my life. It’s hard to feel He’s tangible sometimes. It’s hard not to question Him. It’s hard not to question His exsistance. I have to believe His promises are not empty. I have to believe He is real and loves me. I have seen too many wonderful things. I have felt Him so strongly in my prayers in the past. I have witnessed too much for Him not to be real. He has used me too much for Him not to be real. How can one deny His exsistance when He has used you to rely a message to someone and they say “That is EXACTLY what I have been praying about ALL WEEK!!!” You cannot deny Him after that point.

And yet… it makes me wonder about what I was teaching the kids on Sunday… what are we willing to give up Heaven for? What are we willing to sacrifice our relationship with God for? There should be NOTHING in this world that we would be willing to sell out for. There should be NO ONE who can take the place of God in our hearts… and yet… sometimes I wonder if we do just that. The cares of this life pull so hard and tie me down. I feel I am drowning in the weight of all that needs to be done.