What we do for love. . .

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet.  She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.” ~Dame Edna Everage

As I sat on the train the woman sitting next to me began to mumble to herself. I looked around, wondering if anyone else found this odd and realized, like Charley, no one wanted to act as if they noticed. She kept up her mumbling and then took a sudden interest in my reading: articles on Osteoarthritis. She starts asking me about it and, not wanting to be rude, I answer her back. This seemed to encourage her and I found myself with an unlikely traveling companion who quickly realized I could speak Mandarin on a semi-fluent level.

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”  ~Ambrose Bierce

She told me about how she had been happy down south when a man promised her a Greencard if she’d move up this way. She, thinking this ment marriage, gladly quit her job and soon found herself working for about $300 a week hoping her next job would provide free housing so she could at least save up a bit of money. This man who promised her a bright future was her boyfriend and refused to marry her and instead suggested she find a job that would support her in her effort for a greencard.

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate — that’s my philosophy.”  Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth (1942)

So where she had once been happy and semi-successful here she was now close to broke and worried about being deported. I wonder what I would give up for the promise of love and security. It seems to me like I have already found that in God but then again, sometimes it is SO HARD to be assured of Him and His role in my life. It’s hard to feel He’s tangible sometimes. It’s hard not to question Him. It’s hard not to question His exsistance. I have to believe His promises are not empty. I have to believe He is real and loves me. I have seen too many wonderful things. I have felt Him so strongly in my prayers in the past. I have witnessed too much for Him not to be real. He has used me too much for Him not to be real. How can one deny His exsistance when He has used you to rely a message to someone and they say “That is EXACTLY what I have been praying about ALL WEEK!!!” You cannot deny Him after that point.

And yet… it makes me wonder about what I was teaching the kids on Sunday… what are we willing to give up Heaven for? What are we willing to sacrifice our relationship with God for? There should be NOTHING in this world that we would be willing to sell out for. There should be NO ONE who can take the place of God in our hearts… and yet… sometimes I wonder if we do just that. The cares of this life pull so hard and tie me down. I feel I am drowning in the weight of all that needs to be done.

Dance Your Dance Princess

“We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams.” ~ Anonymous

As I was waiting for the subway one day a woman was dancing all by herself in the corner.  She had earphones on so clearly she wasn’t crazy but like Charley- she was breaking out of the mold of “normal” subway behavior.  She had on a black baseball cap and black, shiny jacket, and it was clear she  had to at least be in her late 50’s or older.  When the train finally pulled up she continued to dance her way to a seat.  Once in the seat she “wooted” and the young men also in our part of the subway car started cracking up noting how awesome she was.  

“A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free.”              ~Nikos Kazantzakis

It’s interesting- break out of the mold and people will perceive you one of two ways: crazy or awesome.  In this case since she showed understanding that she was purposely stepping out of the mold (she acknowledged the looks by wooting towards the guys, doing a little dance in her seat, and looking at the guys and telling them “I’m Princess”) they all felt she was cool.  

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.  ~Cheers Theme Song

I couldn’t help but observe her during the ride and was amazed that more than one person knew her on the ride in.  The more I observed the more I realized she was most likely going to class at a college and those who knew her were most likely classmates also on the same mission of attending class.  However, of those that greeted her some did actually get off at other stops.  I wondered at the fact that if it were sheer coincidence that they were meeting up on the subway either she knew a LOT of people or else she had met them on her commute home prior to this day.  I have NEVER met anyone that I knew- granted I live pretty far outside the city of Boston but still- as I observe people on the T no one else has ever had that many people greet them.  

It’s been weeks since that day but I can still see her, at her end of the T platform listening to her music dancing her heart out.  I wonder if I’ll ever learn to break out of the mold or if I’ll continue on in the basic T rider mold: book/newspaper, earphones, and bored look.